Cancer is a…Dancing Queen

My heart is broken πŸ’”

The most wonderful man has left this earth far too soon to Liver Cancer.

If ever you needed your day to be awakened in a Cancer clinic in walks this man. I’m sitting there minding my own business and then two names are called for the usual weight:BP check before you see the consultant. Suddenly I see this man walking beside me who says ‘should we dance together down to the weighing room?’ I burst into laughter – this got my attention.

I was weighed and then he was and we sat outside the room. We started talking about cancer and then family. Family was very important to us. The passion I could hear about his children was refreshing. During our conversation something strange happened- I realised that I was laughing in a Cancer clinic for the first time in 9 months! It was 5 months post op so I certainly wasn’t ‘healed’ as they say- physically or mentally. However, this man made me really chuckle.

My name was called again and I went in to see my consultant and thought nothing more of our encounter. After the consultation I was making my way out of the clinic with my son who had gone to park the car earlier, when I saw my ‘clinic dancing partner’. I smiled at him and he stopped me, he said that everyone needed to talk about cancer a bit more, it was too hidden. He asked if I had an email address and at this point I introduced him to my son. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his card and handed it to my son! I was standing there with my hand outreached to receive it πŸ˜‚ I was intrigued as to why he did that. Later I was to find out that he did it out of respect and courtesy to my son. He didn’t want him to think that he was trying to ‘chat up’ his mum in front of him AND at a Cancer clinic πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

This man was intriguing so 24 hours later I emailed him to reintroduce myself and wished him all the best for the future. Three days later he replied but not with good news about his consultation.

This was the beginning of what became the most wonderful friendship in such a short space of time. Time was precious to him, I thought I understood it then but now he has gone I finally understand just how much time meant to him. They say walk a mile in another man’s shoes, that saying is so true. We can empathise as much as we can but until it happens to us, we will never truly understand.

I’d love to chronicle the whole story but I’m not sure about that- especially now, my heart is truly broken. I never knew how painful it would be but now I know because he can never call me 3-4 times a day, email me, walk with me, laugh with me, he is no longer hereπŸ˜”. Death is so final but not in his world so for that I am happy. Maybe I will see him again as a beautiful butterfly πŸ¦‹ in my beloved gardens this year.

I cannot wait…πŸ’•πŸ¦‹πŸ’•β˜ΊοΈπŸ’•


Thank you for the signals

I know it was you

You were one of the kindest spirited individuals I have ever known. In life you sought peace and balance until you learned how to be the best of you with people you came into contact with. Nobody is perfect but you learned the art of following a good practice.

Rest well, I am ok ☺️


πŸ¦‹ I miss you πŸ¦‹

I have heard that whilst grieving it gets easier, it doesn’t- you learn ways of coping with living with your loss.

You were a wise head who knew how to advise people. In my head, right now you are still there. I can hear you and at times I know when you are around. It isn’t every day and not in all instances but you make it obvious to me.

I have heard and read about a type of light which presents itself after a person dies. It is all very intriguing and new to me. I still look at your photos and watch your videos, these bring me a sense of peace where there is turbulence.

Rest well πŸ¦‹πŸ₯°

πŸ¦‹β€οΈHappy Anniversaryβ€οΈπŸ¦‹

We met a year ago today in the Cancer Clinic my ‘Clinic Dancing Partner’ ☺️

I fell in love with your personality then and love you just as much today, even though you’re no longer with us.

I miss you every single day πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜’

I have not been able to post here for a while as I find it too upsetting. Just writing these few words is stirring deep emotions and brings tears to my eyes.

Always thinking of you, always in my heart ❣


πŸ¦‹πŸ¦πŸ’• β€˜Three little birds’ πŸ¦‹πŸ¦πŸ’•

By Bob Marley & The Wailers

‘Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)
Singin: don’t worry bout a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: don’t worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
The strangest incident occurred yesterday which inspired me to blog once again.
A little bird flew into my upstairs hallway window from the garden. This is not impossible but I have resided at this house for nearly 20 years, opened the same window (which is small) nearly every day except in cold weather. This has never happened before. The wee little bird became disoriented and scared. It had to be guided down the stairs and out via the rear of the house. Some would say this was a bad omen but I choose to say it was either a fluke or that you paid me another visit to say,
‘Don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright’