My heart is broken ๐
The most wonderful man has left this earth far too soon to Liver Cancer.
If ever you needed your day to be awakened in a Cancer clinic in walks this man. I’m sitting there minding my own business and then two names are called for the usual weight:BP check before you see the consultant. Suddenly I see this man walking beside me who says ‘should we dance together down to the weighing room?’ I burst into laughter – this got my attention.
I was weighed and then he was and we sat outside the room. We started talking about cancer and then family. Family was very important to us. The passion I could hear about his children was refreshing. During our conversation something strange happened- I realised that I was laughing in a Cancer clinic for the first time in 9 months! It was 5 months post op so I certainly wasn’t ‘healed’ as they say- physically or mentally. However, this man made me really chuckle.
My name was called again and I went in to see my consultant and thought nothing more of our encounter. After the consultation I was making my way out of the clinic with my son who had gone to park the car earlier, when I saw my ‘clinic dancing partner’. I smiled at him and he stopped me, he said that everyone needed to talk about cancer a bit more, it was too hidden. He asked if I had an email address and at this point I introduced him to my son. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his card and handed it to my son! I was standing there with my hand outreached to receive it ๐ I was intrigued as to why he did that. Later I was to find out that he did it out of respect and courtesy to my son. He didn’t want him to think that he was trying to ‘chat up’ his mum in front of him AND at a Cancer clinic ๐๐
This man was intriguing so 24 hours later I emailed him to reintroduce myself and wished him all the best for the future. Three days later he replied but not with good news about his consultation.
This was the beginning of what became the most wonderful friendship in such a short space of time. Time was precious to him, I thought I understood it then but now he has gone I finally understand just how much time meant to him. They say walk a mile in another man’s shoes, that saying is so true. We can empathise as much as we can but until it happens to us, we will never truly understand.
I’d love to chronicle the whole story but I’m not sure about that- especially now, my heart is truly broken. I never knew how painful it would be but now I know because he can never call me 3-4 times a day, email me, walk with me, laugh with me, he is no longer here๐. Death is so final but not in his world so for that I am happy. Maybe I will see him again as a beautiful butterfly ๐ฆ in my beloved gardens this year.
I cannot wait…๐๐ฆ๐โบ๏ธ๐
Copyright 2019 ยฉ
What a beautiful story…it shall not end here for that indomitable personality that inhabited that spirit….shall ever be near…in thought…remembered words, deeds….never forgotten and ever present..
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Itโs so fresh, so recent, so painful, so real.
When they leave, we have them in our heart and in our memory. They will be present for as long as we cherish those moments together. Itโs true, he is not here physically, he wonโt be able to hold your hand; but he can still make you smile, and chuckle for that matter… Oh, Iโm so sure of it! ๐
Sending my love your way in this moment when you need it the most โค๏ธ
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How beautiful and how fortunate we are that with cancer we are given the gifts of very deep and very quickly developed friendships- I have a few like this that when the time comes it will break my heart in bits. But I donโt avoid them either because theyโve meant so much to me.
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Thank you. This is so true. It would be easy to avoid these relationships but for me my heart, mind and soul have been enriched through our relationships. I truly hope I was able to impart the same for them. My heart has truly been broken. There are some really happy memories and then the days where grief catches me off guard. Yet I would do the same all over again. ๐
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