🦋🦋🦋🦋 ‘You are so beautiful’ 🦋🦋🦋🦋

By Joe Cocker

‘You’re everything I hoped for
You’re everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me’

The first time I watched you perform this track you brought tears to my eyes. This was one of your favourite.🎤🎸

It’s funny how hearing the voice of someone you lost can bring so much comfort, great strength too. I feel very privileged to be able to turn to your recordings whenever I need to. This last week has been a real test of my courage, but together with a supportive network you have managed to ‘be here’ in your own way too. The sound of your voice brings such clarity, I hope this clarity will help me to make some important decisions. I think I know what you would encourage me to do, sadly you did not have this option – ‘do it!’ 🦋

Cancer is still a Dancing Queen and dance I shall…

☺️🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋☺️

💕🦋 ‘Places in my past’ 🦋💕

By James Taylor

‘Sometimes I can laugh and cry and I can’t remember why
But I still love those good times gone by
Hold on to them close or let them go‘

Listening to your voice again was so nice.

It brought tears but also nice memories. Comforting memories.

Your version is really nice 🥰

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

🎸🥰🦋 ‘Wasn’t expecting that’ 🦋🥰🎸

By Jamie Lawson

‘It was only a smile but my heart it went wild
I wasn’t expecting that’

Nope! ☺️😂

🎸🥰🦋🥰🎸

🦋🦋🦋 ‘Million years ago’ 🦋🦋🦋

By Adele

‘I know I’m not the only one
Who regrets the things they’ve done
Sometimes I just feel it’s only me
Who never became who they thought they’d be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
A million years ago‘

I miss you so much right now my ‘clinic dancing partner’.

I will need everything it takes to get through this next phase, be with me…

😔🦋🥰

☺️🦋 ‘Gonna love me’ 🦋☺️

By Teyana Taylor

‘And oh, you’re gonna love me
You’re gonna wanna hug me and squeeze me’

Don’t ask me why but this track reminds me of you. Actually I do know! You had a huge hug like no other. A hug that always said, ‘everything will be alright‘ ☺️

We had some crazy, silly moments of laughter. Laughter I will never forget. Thank you.

Today feels upbeat, just like the track, the sun does not shine but memories of those hugs do, so that’s ok…🥰

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

🦋🦋 ‘The girl from Ipanema’ 🦋🦋

By Frank Sinatra

‘When she walks, she’s like a samba
That swings so cool and sways so gentle
That when she passes, each one she passes goes ooh

But I watch her so sadly
How can I tell her I love her
Yes I would give my heart gladly
But each day, when she walks to the sea
She looks straight ahead, not at me‘

This could easily have been the situation in the Cancer clinic but thankfully it wasn’t.

As emotional as I get during these moments of what can only be described as grief, I am eternally grateful that we met. Honoured that you shared your space in what were the packed last moments of your walk in life. Your personal space was very important to you. Pleased that you ‘saw’ me. That clinic dancing moment will never be forgotten. It is strange that when you lose someone, the detail in what you recall becomes even more significant. I could not tell you what I was wearing on any other clinic day but on the day we met I remember exactly what I was wearing. I also recall not wearing any makeup because I was just not in the mood, so I went bare apart from a little lip gloss. Simple, no fuss. Tiny earrings.

I am so glad that I did not pass you by. Pleased that I responded given what we were at the clinic for.

The girl from Ipanema with the guitar player in the background…🦋☺️🎸

🦋🦋🦋 ‘Let it be’ 🦋🦋🦋

Guitar version -Hey Jude (The Beatles)

‘And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
There will be an answer, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be‘

A mixture of sadness and optimism looms in the air. Entangled, entwined, so very difficult to unravel. Listening to a guitarist brings me some comfort because it could easily be you when I close my eyes for a few minutes.

My lymph nodes keep going up and down. Sharp pains have returned to my abdomen albeit a different region, I am afraid. Afraid that this cursed Cancer has changed tactics and is about to cause turbulence. I could just be paranoid but somehow, deep down it has been bothering me for a while and I have found all sorts of reasoning to disarm my thoughts. This is not a bad thing. We cannot survive on this earth believing that everything and everyone is doom and gloom. Positive thinking is a necessity at times.

If I am to unravel this entwined set of emotions I need to follow your lead my ‘clinic dancing partner’. Everything you did was to the best of your ability. You always reached for 💯 or more, mediocre was not in your vocabulary! ‘Less than’ was a complete waste of time. You played the guitar and sang like an angel, just beautiful. I hear you in this track, I feel you in this track, I see you move your body, your head, positioning your beloved 🎸- I see it all.

‘There will be an answer, let it be…’ 🦋🎸🦋🎸🦋🎸🦋

😔😔🦋🦋 ‘Why do I feel so sad?’ 🦋🦋😔😔

By Alicia Keys

‘Makes me wanna cry, oh yes it does
‘Cause I have to say goodbye

By now I should know that in time
Things must change
So it shouldn’t be so bad
So why do I feel so sad?

How can I adjust to the way that things are going?
It’s killing me slowly
Oh, I just want it to be how it used to be, yeah
And I wish that I could stay
But in time, things must change‘

I have been so angry with you, incredibly angry. Angry that we became aquainted and that you had to leave so soon. Just simply angry.

I don’t know if grief does this to you but I am annoyed. None of it makes sense to me. Confused. There are no regrets. I do not do ‘regrets’. Just simply anger that you died. You had to go. It cuts deeper every day. I feel my passion for the garden waning, a real effort has to be made to get me to take an interest. I am trying. I know you would tell me off for not moving forward! 😂

Why did you choose to dance with me my ‘clinic dancing partner?’ 😔😥🦋💕

🦶🦋💕 ‘Footprints in the sand’ 💕🦋🦶

By Leona Lewis

‘You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going

You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way

I heard you say
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow
And despair

And I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid
And just when I
Thought I lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on
Thats when I heard you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair

And I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

When I’m weary
Well I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sadness and despair

And I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand

When your heart is full of sadness and despair

And I’ll carry you
When you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand‘

Yesterday I was so desperately lost without you…😢🦋

🥰🎸🦋 ‘Trinity’ 🦋🎸🥰

Jazz by Jackiem Joyner

What a beautiful track! 🥰

Beautifully constructed, I can hear the strumming of a guitar so you can imagine how happy that makes me feel. ☺️🦋🥰

Such a good feeling, check it out. It is a real mood lifter ☺️🥰🦋

🦋💕🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸💕🦋