🦋💓 ‘Better Man’ 💓🦋

By Westlife

‘I saw an angel, but they’ve hidden their wings, I know
Everyone’s got that special baby
Oh, I, now I only see you in my dreams’

Happy heavenly birthday on St David’s day. The day you were laid to rest last year. The day you moved on to the next life. 🦋

I still miss you, my heart aches at times but I get through it. Sometimes I want to run away from that thing called cancer but I can’t! Something, somewhere encourages me to continue moving forward helping others on their journey. Is it you? Something forces me not to let go when at times I just want my ‘old’ life back, I just want to be ‘me’ again. Perhaps this is not to be.

Since my diagnosis my journey has had several twists and turns. Despite the fatigue which hits me from five different angles I put my best foot forward. Not everyone understands exactly how hard it is to function on a day to day basis. They see you standing so you must be ok, if only they really knew…

Throughout this time I have not really focused on the need to do ‘self’. A lovely manager at a Macmillan hub has relentlessly followed up with me until she finally made me realise that I needed to look after my own wellbeing as well as others. Thank you 😊 This new method of wellbeing is hypnosis. At first I thought it would be like the stuff you see on tv but I couldn’t of been more wrong. The process made me so relaxed, calm, in fact it has taken me to a place where I keep seeing you. We meet briefly, you are happy, at times you just smile, I am happy. It is the strangest encounter because you are never with me, I always meet you during the journey and then we part ways. This latest episode involved a message and a gift, you gave me a beautiful white Lotus flower, a flower that does not survive as cut flowers but this flower head was very much alive as you smiled, told me that you loved me and left. Our meeting was not in the UK but in Hungary where we once walked along the River Danube. During hypnosis I was directed towards the sea but for some reason I visited the river where you walked towards me. Whatever the meanings are of these meetings they have brought me a sense of peace that you are ok.

Here is my gift to you, the Daffodil, a symbol of St David’s Day and one that remembers your special day last year.

‘Daffodils-a symbol of you 🦋’

Thank you for being ‘a better man’ 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

🦋❤️Happy Anniversary❤️🦋

We met a year ago today in the Cancer Clinic my ‘Clinic Dancing Partner’ ☺️

I fell in love with your personality then and love you just as much today, even though you’re no longer with us.

I miss you every single day 😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😒

I have not been able to post here for a while as I find it too upsetting. Just writing these few words is stirring deep emotions and brings tears to my eyes.

Always thinking of you, always in my heart ❣


☺️☺️🦋 ‘What do I know’ 🦋☺️☺️

By Ed Sheeran

‘We could change this whole world with a piano
Add a bass, some guitar, grab a beat and away we go
I’m just a boy with a one-man show
No university, no degree, but lord knows
Everybody’s talking ’bout exponential growth
And the stock market crashing in their portfolios
While I’ll be sitting here with a song that I wrote
Sing, love could change the world in a moment
But what do I know?
Love can change the world in a moment
But what do I know?
Love can change the world in a moment

I love this upbeat track! 🥰

It speaks volumes, truth, reality and crosses paths in our lives. So many paths. Love can truly change our position in life much like our driving ambition to accomplish our goals. The difference is love, true love does not require an investment in education, money or assets. Love requires an investment of truth and a shared journey. Nothing else. It’s that simple but as I always say, as human beings we over complicate matters. Love comes from within us, deep within our very being. We don’t pay for it, it is free but yet we hesitate to express the same freeness, freely. Why? ‘Life is more than fitting in your jeans 👖 as Ed quite rightly sings.

Live, love and laugh whenever you can because ‘love can change the world in a moment’…🦋💗🦋

🎸🦋 ‘Hey Jude’ 🦋🎸

By The Beatles (Guitarist version)

‘Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
Hey Jude, don’t be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

I hope you have reunited with your childhood sweetheart in the next world

Your love 💗


☺️🦋 ‘Chasing pavements’ 🦋☺️

By Adele

‘Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I did not leave it there, I told you in writing. You read it and then quickly called because you needed to ‘hear it’ said out loud. It needed validation.

I do not regret saying it. It was true and needed to be said. It was that ‘elephant in the room’ until released. Deep down you wanted to be loved, we all need to be loved, you knew you were loved by me and special people in your life. You needed to hear it.

I am glad I did not continue to chase pavements…rest in peace lovely ☺️🦋