😉 Let’s talk about sex 😉

By Salt-N-Pepa

Let’s talk about sex, baby (sing it)
Let’s talk about you and me (sing it, sing it)
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let’s talk about sex (come on)
Let’s talk about sex (do it)
Let’s talk about sex (uh-huh)
Let’s talk about sex

Yes let’s!

Why are we so shy about talking about sex? After all, is it not the way mankind is created? Is it not the way the animal kingdom is created? Stop with being bashful, we need to talk about sex! I am speaking as a person living with Cancer and not as a medically trained individual of which I am not.

Throughout my journey with Cancer this subject has never been mentioned in any of my consultations. The ethos seems to be that you are kept alive and of course this is an important approach. However, after life, what next? We are going to live longer with Cancer, so what then? Before Cancer, life would consist of fun, relationships and sex so why should this change? Cancer can bring a whole plethora of issues, especially post surgery and/or treatment. The side effects of both can present limitations and change the way you see yourself in every way. It may also change the way in which your partner sees you but we will cover this in another post (this is not a dig at partners). Sometimes surgery involves some very large surgical scars, removal of internal organs and resections of the body. None of these surgeries bring pretty embroidery type closure, especially if your skin is prone to issues with healing. This is not the case in all instances but for some people their physical appearance will change. It is these changes along with the side effects of Cancer treatment that will make a person retreat for the hills where sex is concerned. If professionals have not pre-warned you, you are not prepared for what can unfold, and for some people, this is devastating and can result in depression. This devastation can ruin sex lives and ultimately end what once may have been a healthy relationship. Yes this can happen without one of the partners having Cancer but imagine adding this to a sex life that is already under strain. Having books or leaflets on shelves at the hospital is not the only answer, people are embarrassed to pick them up or they may see themselves as a failure. These feelings run deep and are often unspoken with individuals suffering in painful silence. These conversations need to be addressed before the surgery and before treatment. It is a sad state of affairs for the couple to find they now have pain in and around their breasts, abdomen, head, skin, vagina or their penis. Yes I said it, Vagina and Penis– let’s get over this now! 😂There is a long list of medical conditions such as medically induced Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, Vaginal Atrophy, Vaginal dryness that can occur post treatment/surgery. It is not right, yes we need to save lives but what happens to these same lives once they are saved? They need a quality of life, QoL in medical terms. If we do not offer the right advice at the right time, people suffer unnecessarily. Having Cancer is enough to contend with, let alone adding more conditions to the journey.

We need to start talking about sex after Cancer. We need to help people get their lives back.

Let’s talk about sex, my ‘Clinic Dancing Partner’ did and he was a trained Sex Therapist, may he rest in eternal peace ☺️🥰

‘Photo taken by MaCherie48’